Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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