is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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