he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
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But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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