Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize