The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize