You smell like stripper and shame
i think i have two assholes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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