good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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