So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had to cum in my sink.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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