OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize