I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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