Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
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She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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