Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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