real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We need to rekindle our bromance
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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