I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize