So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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