If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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