First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
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I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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