How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize