I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize