so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
God, I missed his penis.
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