The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize