I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize