This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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