...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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