So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
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I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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