I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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