Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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