Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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