still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
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My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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