I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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