I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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