remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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