His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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