Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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