I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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