I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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