It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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