He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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