Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize