I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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