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Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize