we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize