you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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