how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize