He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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