I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize