Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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