I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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