I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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