I think I died a long time ago.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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